Physics?
I bought a pack of Columbus Calabrese Salame from Trader Joe's the other day. One of the bullet points on the package says "Slow Aged for Optimum Flavor." Slow aged? Maybe it's just me, but I'd expect a company that's figured out how to alter the space-time continuum to use it for something more productive than making salami taste fantastic.
I picked up the same package of salami the other day (a solid buy in my opinion). As for the slow-aging process...I much prefer it to the fast-aging process, aka warp speed. Although I'm naturally inclined to spend most of my day in warp speed, you simply can't rush a good salty meat product. For this, I will not rush.
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