Showing posts from August, 2016

I'll Be the Judge

I'm pretty good at judging things volumetrically. And also people, based on their life choices.

iBad Apps

iPad apps that only render in landscape mode: are ya kidding me? It embarrassing enough to use your phone like that as if you're still stuck in the 2000s on a Sidekick, but at least that's a choice. Even a game I can understand. But booking a hotel? Come on. WTF are you thinking, SPG?

It's Not a Math Gym

It's amazing how people can so completely fail at basic arithmetic. When I see someone on the bench press with a 25, a 10, and two 5s on each side I want to go up and ask, "do you know what that adds up to?" Yeah, 45. That's the plate you see lying around everywhere. But no, you spend 10 minutes tracking down the smaller weights so that no one else can use them. If you've ever, say, paid cash for something you should be able to figure this out. And don't forget, using 45s also makes you look at least 37% more badass. So bust out the phone calculator and slap on a couple of show-off plates. We'll all thank you.

Stay In Your Own Lane

The following vehicles need to be immediately and indefinitely banned from the left lane of every highway: Toyota Prii PT Cruisers Massive pick-up trucks whose drivers get confused about the difference between size and speed I can just imagine these people thinking "wow, I wonder why traffic is so light today?" Because everyone is stuck behind you.