Under My Umbrella
Okay, not MY umbrella. I don't own one. And you couldn't pay me to carry one. But I think I'm part of the minority here. Half the people I see on the street don't seem to realize that wind + umbrella = stumbling around, getting soaked, and looking like a dummy while valiantly attempting to turn it outside in (guess that's the opposite of inside out). The other half have Gore-Tex jackets on, with hoods pulled tight, like the Wicked Witch of West doing her best to avoid another melting incident. Department of redundancy department anyone? Maybe not everyone got CC'd on the memo, but here are the cliff notes: some guy invented the raincoat.