Gets Me Heated

I've always been mystified by the custom of children-in-law calling their spouses' parents Mom and Dad. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. You call your own parents Mom and Dad. Your siblings call your parents Mom and Dad. It seems to be more common among the males, but I'm not going anywhere near that oedipal road. If you're saying Dad...and your wife's saying dad...then it's kinda like...you're brother and sister...and it's kinda like...you're married to your sister. And...

Just because something comes with a lanyard doesn't mean you have to look like a dummy by actually wearing it. Maybe the name "jump drive" is a little misleading for some people. I promise, even in a pocket, your data ain't goin' anywhere. More recently I noticed this phenomenon at the JCC (that's Jewish Community Center, as if you didn't know). Granted most members are taking full advantage of the social security that I'm paying for and still have vivid memories of the Eisenhower days, but I don't believe that even they'll lose the access card between their deathmobile and the front door. Then of course there's the school ID and keys combination, which unfortunately pervades most college campuses. If having those two things hanging from a lanyard is the only possible way to keep track of them, then A) learn to hold your liquor and B) you probably shouldn't have been admitted in the first place. Point is, there are very few things

It's interesting how a couple of distinct connections can completely change the perceived meaning of a word. We've all driven by (and more than likely been to) an adult book or video store. At this point, whenever I hear the hear the word adult used as an adjective, that's where my mind immediately goes. I was watching the Red Sox game a few nights ago and saw this ad for what was described as an "adult baseball camp." My first thought? A bat would be a weird prop.

If you're driving around, listening to shitty hip hop, with the bass turned up so high that all I can hear is your license plate rattling, it's about time to ditch the '91 Corolla and invest some of those subwoofer funds in a new ride.

Of all the things that get blown out of proportion into social and racial issues, what about the fact that there's no brown M&M character? Every other color has a personality to go along with it, representing both genders. Even blue, which has only been around for a few years, managed to get embodied. I don't like reading too much into observations like this, but must admit that I was rather surprised when I noticed it for the first time. What's the next step? Brown M&M vs. Board of Education?