Gets Me Heated

Religions often claim to keep up with widespread shifts in social, political, and scientific norms. However, it usually remains confined to the small space in which God has pre-approved change, not the broader arena of serious issues like abortion and gay rights. While any progress seems to come like Shaq running the floor, it should still be celebrated when it occurs (no matter how winded it is). The Vatican recently announced that it was opening an exhibit to acknowledge the 400th anniversary of Galileo's groundbreaking work in astronomy . Using a telescope that eerily resembled a stick , in 1609 he posited that the Earth revolves around the Sun: a direct contradiction to the church's view that the Sun revolved around the Earth. For this, Galileo was declared a heretic. Guess when the pope finally admitted that the church was in error. Nope, way more recent. Try 1992. Really, what surprises me the most about all of this is that the Catholic church doesn't have any restric...

Here's the scene: you're an idiot, in Wales, going out on the town with one of your mates. Your sober IQ's about the same as your inseam. Drunk IQ? More like your shoe size. 17 pints later things start getting a little belligerent. You both want to start a fight, but who's a good target? It's a nice night, plenty of people wandering the streets. Push a few guys around, no one's taking the bait. There! Two drag queens stroll through the slightly less blurred portion of your vision. Dear diary, jackpot! You wake up in prison with a black eye and sore ribs. Why? Well find out for yourself (watch the guy with no shirt, of course): Turns out those two drag queens were MMA cage fighters on their way to a theme party. Oops.

If Lebron James is making a movie that's himself, playing basketball, on camera, isn't it just real life?

I've always been mystified by the custom of children-in-law calling their spouses' parents Mom and Dad. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. You call your own parents Mom and Dad. Your siblings call your parents Mom and Dad. It seems to be more common among the males, but I'm not going anywhere near that oedipal road. If you're saying Dad...and your wife's saying dad...then it's kinda like...you're brother and sister...and it's kinda like...you're married to your sister. And...

Just because something comes with a lanyard doesn't mean you have to look like a dummy by actually wearing it. Maybe the name "jump drive" is a little misleading for some people. I promise, even in a pocket, your data ain't goin' anywhere. More recently I noticed this phenomenon at the JCC (that's Jewish Community Center, as if you didn't know). Granted most members are taking full advantage of the social security that I'm paying for and still have vivid memories of the Eisenhower days, but I don't believe that even they'll lose the access card between their deathmobile and the front door. Then of course there's the school ID and keys combination, which unfortunately pervades most college campuses. If having those two things hanging from a lanyard is the only possible way to keep track of them, then A) learn to hold your liquor and B) you probably shouldn't have been admitted in the first place. Point is, there are very few things...

It's interesting how a couple of distinct connections can completely change the perceived meaning of a word. We've all driven by (and more than likely been to) an adult book or video store. At this point, whenever I hear the hear the word adult used as an adjective, that's where my mind immediately goes. I was watching the Red Sox game a few nights ago and saw this ad for what was described as an "adult baseball camp." My first thought? A bat would be a weird prop.

If you're driving around, listening to shitty hip hop, with the bass turned up so high that all I can hear is your license plate rattling, it's about time to ditch the '91 Corolla and invest some of those subwoofer funds in a new ride.

Of all the things that get blown out of proportion into social and racial issues, what about the fact that there's no brown M&M character? Every other color has a personality to go along with it, representing both genders. Even blue, which has only been around for a few years, managed to get embodied. I don't like reading too much into observations like this, but must admit that I was rather surprised when I noticed it for the first time. What's the next step? Brown M&M vs. Board of Education?

I was trying to help my step mother setup a printer with her new computer the other day, and it only contributed to my hatred of Windows. You can follow the same process that has worked on a dozen other PCs, but for whatever reason, it doesn't work this time. The inconsistency kills me. At least I know that if something doesn't work on one Mac, it won't work on any. With Windows, you have to tailor IT support not just to the specific issue, but to the specific computer. It adds an extra lair of complexity and variables that I'm simply not interested in dealing with. Which reminds me of another problem with Microsoft. I honestly didn't have a true appreciation of it until seeing this video, but after watching, you'll understand.

Dear Writer, Just because your movie has people in it, doesn't mean it was based on a true story. Thanks.