I'm sure most people are familiar with the Chuck Norris facts, but for those of you who still don't use T9, here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and kill.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched, and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.