Chuck Norris

I'm sure most people are familiar with the Chuck Norris facts, but for those of you who still don't use T9, here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):
  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and kill.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched, and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
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